BLOOD NEEDS WORK
reviews Blood Work, the new Clint Eastwood movie
Clint Eastwood... He was the man in the late 70's
and early 80's. He's still the man... The OLD man.
He writes - He directs - He produces. Throw in acting as the main
character and you've got a helluva job for even the most energetic spring
chicken, let alone an aging celebrity former mayor. It's no wonder
'Blood Work' seemed so disjointed, sloppy, and 'first take-ish'.
We catch up with Terry McCaleb (Clint Eastwood) as an FBI profiler on a
very personal case regarding a serial killer. Well, ol' Clint spots the
suspect in the crime scene crowd and gives chase. No explanation on
why the 40 other cops on the scene let a 900 year old man chase a
dangerous fugitive without joining him. Anyhow, Gramps Eastwood
catches a heart attack that night that retires him for good. We fast
forward 3 years later after Eastwood's character gets a badly needed heart
Sound fun? Maybe as a dinner movie at the Elks Club, but anyone
under 60 doesn't want to see a geriatric hero. All movie I was
waiting for Clint to do his best 'Fred Sanford' Routine. 'Elizabeth!
(Clutches Heart) I'm coming to join you honey!' Gimme a break, or at
least a movie hero who doesn't look like his Depends need changing after
every chase scene. Clint, you know you ain't cool anymore when
wearing shades makes you look like you're in need of a seeing eye dog.
I won't tell you anymore of the story, though you'll probably figure most
of it out before it's unfolded. What you won't expect, though, is
that Clint actually had the nerve to place himself in a love scene with
the female lead (Poor Wanda De Jesus). She's no spring
chickadee herself, but next to Eastwood she looked like an embryo.
Yep, the movie could've done without that scene. I usually like when
movies give me the Heebie Jeebies, but naked Ol' Clint just kinda creeped
me out big time.
Some films are crisp... clean... professional. This one featured amateurish
camera angles and camerawork, really awful sound editing, and flat acting
skills. By my count there were at least 6 instances (probably more)
where the sound just cut out for a good second when the scene transitioned
to the next... Not going to win an Oscar for anything involving Visuals,
Audio, or Acting. Perhaps if there were a 'Most likely to remind
audiences of a 70's action flick', Blood Work would have a chance.
Paul Rodriguez is a very talented stand up comedian. He used to make
me laugh all the time. Blood Work reduces him to a foul mouthed,
unfunny, irritation of a man. They even resorted to making Paul
spouting a steady stream of Spanish swearing and muttering to
himself. This is supposed to be funny?. No, Nada Mucho.
Jeff Daniels, potentially a very funny actor (Dumb and Dumber), is also
off-timing here as most of his attempts at humor fall real short. My
guess? No budget for any 'second takes' and reshoots. Just use
the first copy, it's good.
The Bottom Line
The Verdict? Do you really have to ask? Blood Work probably
isn't even worth catching on KITV or KHON when it comes to Network
Television (which will probably be like next week judging by the
sparse theatre audience). Don't give Blood Work any transfusion and
please let it die a quick honorable death. We give it a one 'Old
Eastwood' out of a possible five.
Rating Box -
1.0 Aging Eastwoods out of 5
"What d'ya mean the sex scene
was creepy? It made my day!"
- visit the official homepage here
- view the Trailer