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Get up, Stand-Up, Hawaii Comedians Unite!
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"Eh Russell, you get pen?"  How many times have you been tempted to say this to your friend Russell?  I know my friend Russell is sick of it, and I'm sure there are a lot of Nathan's who get the call when you "get one cockaroach in my shoe!"   Who can forget Tutu's , "Da Kahuna going take care of us," or Daddy's "Eh, Reynolds, I get your wrap?"  Don't you just want to tell your generic Japanese friend that he IS the real "Glenn Miyashiro?"  Every time I think of the days, of Rap, Andy, Frank, Booga-Booga, and even Mel Cabang, I have to laugh.

I long for those days to be back again, when Hawaii comedians had us all in stitches.  I still remember all the skits from "Raps Hawaii."  If only Auntie Marialani were still alive to tell Sam Choy that the sauce should be, "Not too Sweet, Not too Rancid, but Jus' Right." I wonder, where are they now?  

Hawaii lost true treasures when Rap Reiplinger and Tremaine Tamayose passed away.  Gone forever are two comedic artists who not only made us laugh, but had the dramatic talent to put on a real show.  Andy Bumatai?  He's making commercials as, of all things, a tooth?  Is that really supposed to make me want to brush and floss - it doesn't even make me laugh these days (but I laughed when women were mad because Honey Girl looked better than they did).  Brother Ray is on the KFC chicken patrol and a voice on a Nickelodeon Cartoon.  Can't you call Ed Kaahea and James Grant Benton for just one more Booga-Booga run?  Oh, and Braddah Benton, please swat that damn mosquito on the Dengue fever commercial already.  Frank is still around, but I guess he hasn't found his next "Maria Tunta" yet.  As for Mel Cabang?  Where are you now?  Last I heard David Copperfield requested Mel for a private show.  It's too bad Dave didn't take Mel Cabang's advice on women - "I no like date pretty girls.  I like the ugly ones.  With a pretty girl, when she goes out, you always worried about when she's coming home.  With and ugly girl, you don't care if they come back home or not." At a time when the nation has been afraid to laugh out loud, our Comedians need to challenge us to laugh again.  Make us an offer we can't refuse.  Hawaii needs you now.  It's time for you to "Jus Backaloose."

So where is our next laugh coming from?  Who's going to be the next one to have a Comedy show that gives us catch phrases for years to come?  The laughs are here Hawaii - you just have to know where to find them:

Have you seen "Da Braddahs" on OC 16?   Critics have called their outrageous portrayal of local characters too reminiscent of Rap and Booga-Booga.  Who cares?  Rap and Booga made me laugh, just like these guys do.  You better hurry up and catch their show before someone in the Samoan community catches up with them. 
 
Look, or listen no further than your radio dial.  Two of Hawaii's most talented Comedians leave us rolling in the morning - Augie Tulba and Greg Hammer.
   
-Augie's stand-up pulls no punches, and ha has no apologies for incorporating his tough upbringing into his skits, "I was one of the small guys when I was young, so I hung out with the toughest guy in the neighborhood.  They were so tough, that when they walked through the neighborhood, people shut their windows, closed their doors, and hid.  I swear, Jehovah's Witnesses must be the toughest people around."  Catch Augie w/ Lanai Boy on Island Rhythms in the morning.

- Greg Hammer once said, "I feel privileged to have grown up in a place where people don't make a big deal about what color your skin is... we're all just dopey folks," and he makes fun of all the dopey folks in Hawaii.  He does dead-on impressions of Hawaii celebrities like Larry Price and Les Murakami, and has an array of local characters in his repertoire.  He recently got down on one knee to propose to radio mate, Shawnee, who accepted.  Catch Gregg on I-94 with Rory Wild in the morning.

What about the women?  Does Bette Midler really count as a comedian?  Even, if she did, she wouldn't come back to perform here.  I think Lee Cataluna should drop the pen and pick up the mike again.  Yes Lee, we like your columns, but we liked your stand-up too (that's right, she can be damn funny).  With your stage presence and flair for writing, you could do a one women show so we don't have to import Margaret Cho (do we really need to hear about Margaret's sex life again? Gross.)

Yes Hawaii, the talent to make us laugh is out there, but they need to
step up to the plate and take a swing.  Please don't make us wait for Bu in 2002.  The time has come for the Hawaii Comedians to come out and make us forget about the problems of the world for just a minute.  So this is an open invitation for "Da Braddahs, Augie, Gregg, Lee, and all you future Franks and Andy's to come out and "Make A" for our sake.  You might just have Hawaii's next "All in the Ohana."  If you don't I guess I can always go visit Andy again.  I wonder if he still give a free copy when you buy a phone?

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