At Kaiser High School were you
getting into trouble all the time?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yes, yes. I've never
bought the whole 'Life is Good' thing. Like in that movie, Castaway, I was
like dude, four years on that island and you're thankful the porta potty came
up? I would have killed myself way earlier than that! I'm supposed to be
thankful for the porta potty? I would've been pissed that I got stuck there in
the first place. I was always just like, Nah, I'm not into it. But when you're
in High School you wear black and you're all depressed about it. Now that I'm
older it's funny to me. I like George Carlin in that way. If you read the
introduction to George Carlin's book 'Brain Droppings' that's kinda like a
small kine sample of my philosophy.
Hawaii411: Is George Carlin one of your comedic inspirations?
Hawaiian Ryan: George Carlin, Woody
Allen, Steve Martin - All the old school boys I grew up with. Richard Pryor...
I like Seinfeld, even some of the chicks like Paula Poundstone, Ellen the
Lesbian chick... In the eighties, they were hardcore.
Hawaii411: You're working for Xtreme 104.3 now... How
long have you been there?
Hawaiian Ryan: Been there since March
2001. Before that, KPOI, KQMQ..
Hawaii411: What kind of music do you
Hawaiian Ryan: I like all kinds of
music. Being a DJ, it's almost irrelevant what kind of music you like, because
there's so much more to the job than that. But I like rock, alternative jazz,
whatever.. The underground stuff that never makes it to radio.
Hawaii411: Would you ever consider
working for a lite rock station, or does that not fit you at all?
Hawaiian Ryan: Oh, I'm a total sellout
dude, Money... Money talks. I don't care, I just get paid, you know what I
mean? I would belly dance, be a whore, sell drugs, whatever (laughs). Whatever
works, as long as I don't get caught, yah? I'm game.
So is Xtreme one of the better
matches for you, because it gives you so much freedom?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, plus there are more
gigs in the Hip Hop and R&B genre, the club gangs.. There's a lot more
going on in Hawaii especially. If I was in the mainland I'd probably want to
be part of the Alternate Rock Station, it depends. But to answer the question,
yah, it's pretty free, they let me do whatever I want, it's really cool. It's
my favorite place to work at so far.
When you take gigs and do your MC jobs, are those private parties?
Hawaiian Ryan: Anything, whatever pays
Hawaii411: Is there anyone you look
up to in the DJ/comedian world?
Hawaiian Ryan: This goes back to the
DJ/comedian question. I don't ever think that I wanted to be a DJ. I just
wanted to be in entertainment, either writing or acting or comedy. I used to
be in a band, write songs... anything, just anything artistic. And DJ's
something that's basically the closest thing to doing nothing. really, at the
heart of all men lies laziness. And the only reason for technology is for
like, total chronic laziness. Basically doing more for less. Being a DJ is the
ultimate Buddhist experience. Buddhist/Capitalism. You're in the
commercial world selling stuff, you sit down, it's very unhealthy, very
lethargic.. It's great. It's the closest I'll get to Nirvana without shaving
my head and forfeiting sex. It's a pursuit to do other things, and that's my
philosophy in money - I want to get money so I don't need to get money. Being
a DJ is the thing where you don't do anything, and so I can really just write
or read. I just came here from Borders. I love to read, write, create.
Nah, actually Iím exaggerating, being a DJ does require a lot of
practice and skill, and if you are a good DJ, there are a lot of ways to work
hard and get your face out in the community, and technically that can be a lot
of work, but you know, I guess my point is that it really is choke fun, so it
doesnít seem like work.
What do you read?
Hawaiian Ryan: Anything, Everything.
Everything is all related, and I like to find the patterns: Science, Finance,
Philosophy. That's where I get a lot of my material too. Analogies...
Hawaii411: In a sense you became a
student of your trade.
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, I mean when you're
younger it starts off as you want attention, and i was just born more outgoing
and psychotic then the average person. when you get older you just become a
student of everything and you express it through all different forms, whatever
it is: Comedy, writing... My Dad is like a total math major and my mom is like
the other side of the realm - public speaking, all that stuff... So there's
total confusion in my brain.
Hawaii411: Were your parents pretty
supportive of your career?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, actually... I had
the typical Asian dad... He wanted me to play UH Baseball and become a lawyer,
or a doctor, or a dentist (no offense!) but he realized pretty early on that
it was never going to happen so... He was pretty good, he let go...
you go to UH?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah. I didn't really know
what I wanted to do until I had 2 years left.. I was doing the liberals like
everyone else and then I decided to major in English Lit, because I wanted to
be a writer.
Hawaii411: If you couldn't be an
entertainer, what would you do? Say the industry just drops, and it's Perry
and Price and that's it...
Hawaiian Ryan: Uh, thats pretty much the
way it is right now. That's an accurate depiction actually.
They're really the only ones making really big bucks being radio DJ's in
Hawaii. They by far make the most... not only from their salary, but from
everything else too.
Hawaiian Ryan: What would I do? I have
never been able to answer that question... I still would want to try to do
nothing, so maybe I'd try to study investments - the whole passive income
philosophy. The whole mentality of 'What would you do' - even that is so
confining. You know, as far as what ďjobĒ do you want to have.
Iím learning to think even out side that box.
You know, to think about other ways to make money, like investing, real
estate, blah, blah, blah. Yes, I just read ďRich Dad, Poor DadĒ so what?
But really, I don't want to do anything, so I think I'd try to find ways to do
something else... Maybe create a website for local celebrities - oh, sorry!
Hawaiian Ryan: One of the few things
I've learned in my life is to not be ambitious. One of the things that cause
so much pain and suffering in most peoples lives is the American Dream and
ambition. And I think I'm wiser. I've decided to get rid of ambition
altogether, and therefore I can never fail. If you have no goals, then there
is no difference between the goals and you not meeting them. It's really the
spatial relationship between point B and point A... You're creating your own
But if you become successful, then you've failed...
Hawaiian Ryan: If you become successful
by accident then its only bonus points. See, in my system there are no
negatives. It's all from zero on. It's all positive.
Actually even zero is positive in my world. When I don't meet my goals,
I never had any so it doesn't matter. Again, Nirvana.. But if accidentally
someone picks up my idea or TV show, cool, I'll take it, whatever.
How is that TV show going (@ on Oceanic)?
Hawaiian Ryan: That show is on hiatus,
but I've got other ideas. Basically the TV industry is like 4 people, and I've
been working with them for the past 13 years. I have a lot of ideas for TV
shows that I might come out with this summer. Luckily Hawaii is very small and
friendly and as long as you remain somewhat sociable, you should be able to
keep a job at some level somewhere.
Hawaii411: So is Tiny like the Mafia
Don of Oceanic Cable?
Hawaiian Ryan: He is, he is.
But you know, shorter. (laughs)
Hawaii411: There are people who
criticize Xtreme and say ' You're Tainting our kid's minds'. How do you
respond to that?
Hawaiian Ryan: This gets into a huge
territory, like parental values, and bottom line is certain programs should be
on at a certain time. When I used to do the morning show we used to keep the
racier material until after 8:00 because of school. But generally to be honest
my answer is if the kids are that young, they shouldn't be listening.. Parents
gotta help out there. Realistically dude, it's on the radio, kids are
listening, it's everywhere. My personal opinion is that it's a business. You
know how it works.. People pay to get their products on. And the songs... you
listen to the songs and they're all crazy now. It's just so overwhelming, I
don't know how much more you could do that would be effective. I mean every
song is like Bitches and Ho's. This is what thirteen year olds are listening
to. What do you want me to do, change the entire genre of Hip Hop and R&B?
' I've Got Ho's' is a song. That is a song. In different area codes, I mean,
not only the fact that he has a Ho, but he's gone the extra dimension of
naming the actual area codes in which they dwell. Next thing there'll be
addresses, PO Boxes. I mean, I know it sounds like a cop out, but society has
gone down a couple of notches. And we play music. We play the music which
represents our culture. I suppose if we wanted to be really responsible we
would just not play hip hop and R&B.
The same was said about rock and roll in the sixties, when Elvis
sang about his Bitches and Ho's...
Hawaiian Ryan: Realistically, you are
not going to stop the kids from hearing about it and talking about it. So
instead of trying to suppress them for it, sit down as a responsible parent
and talk to them about it. It's out there. If we stop playing it, someone else
is going to play it.. They'll hear it from MTV. They got Napster now. I'm just
being honest. Its a joint effort.
you think maybe down the line when you settle down with a wife and kids maybe
you may have a different view?
Hawaiian Ryan: Wife and Kids? No thanks.
Bitches and Ho's, yah. See that's my problem, I believe in Bitches and Ho's,
so I'm a very bad person to ask about children.... That's why I'll never run
for office. I'll sit down and talk with kids, but I'm not really into trying
to sculpt them. I think every individual needs to make up his/her own mind...
I mean you shouldn't be exposing certain topics to four or five years olds,
because what are they going to make of it, right? At a certain age, everything
is up for game. I don't believe in censorship. Talk about it, and the kid's
going to do what he's going to do. Most of the time, you either get
brainwashing, or total rebellion. Both roads I despise. Kids grow up, try to
be like their parents...Hate that.. and the people who rebel become very
psycho and angry.
Hawaiian Ryan: Maybe that's why people
never listen to me. They always pull the 'You don't have kids, you'll never..'
trick on me. I don't plan on having kids. I don't want to subject them to what
I had to go through.. Life. (Laughs) I don't want to force them to pay car
insurance, go through traffic camera scams, rent... Property Tax. Temporary
Disability insurance is like 'What? Why do I have to pay that?' But there it
is on every check. I don't want to subject someone to that. Fitness....
Hawaii411: What do you do in your
Hawaiian Ryan: I'm always checking my
paradigm... My world view. Because that affects everything. That's my hobby.
Who are some of the celebrities that you've met, that stand out?
Like us, we get to say 'We got to meet Hawaiian Ryan!'
Hawaiian Ryan: On the phone, I get to
meet a lot. I got to interview Snoop Dog, Puff Daddy. A lot of the Hip
Hop/R&B stars. Eminem, Dr. Dre, Christina Agulierra. We basically get to
meet all the guys who come down for the concerts.
So do you guys get Freebies?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yes, yes, that is part of
the fun. You know what sucks is they never tell you about this during high
school career guidance.. I mean what is shop? You got shop, you got all this
other stuff.. No thank you.. No one tells you about this world. My whole life
all my teacher said is 'What are you going to do for a living, sit around and
be a wise ass, and get paid? How're you going to find a girl?' That's all it
is - it's just chicks, cash and doing nothing. They try to keep it from you,
because our educational system needs to fill a quota. They need to fill a
certain amount of people, professionals... They don't need people to go for
the good stuff. We need to lower their hopes, and make sure we have enough
people working construction and whatever else... Not that working construction
is low - it's just that itís hard work, that's all.
Hawaiian Ryan: My Uncle, he works
construction... He's a genius. He can build a whole house by himself. It's an
incredible trade.. but he works hard. That's the only thing I fault him for.
What are you working so hard for? I
mean even if you love your job, I guess the point is to be financially free,
so that you can do your job if you want to, but if you feel like taking off
for a year, whatevahs.
Hawaii411: What are some of your
Hawaiian Ryan: I did standup for Vanilla
Ice. I opened the Vanilla Ice concert. And they yelled "Vanilla, Vanilla,
Vanilla... " three minutes into my set. It was a highlight not in the
sense it was good, but it stood out like a highlighter. Which reminds me
'Never do comedy for a bunch of screaming horny twelve year old girls who are
wearing Vanilla Ice shirts'. That was a big mistake...
ok if they're wearing Hawaiian Ryan shirts?
Hawaiian Ryan: You know what I'm saying?
Does the stability of the Radio DJ scene worry you?
Hawaiian Ryan: Yes and No. It's
definitely not a stable job, that's one negative about this job. This is my
fourth radio station. So, kind of, but not really... There are so many other
ways, I'm not really worried about it. There's other ways to do nothing. And
there's always the illegal stuff. Black market Pokeman Cards, whatever.
Hawaii411: I mentioned some of the
negative perceptions people have against Xtreme. What are some of the
Hawaiian Ryan: We get involved with the
community, with all kinds of charity work. When 911 came we did this teenage
expo thing to help. We're always getting involved in some way, some fashion.
We've created a product that has the attention of a lot of people, especially
young people, and when it is time to be used to help them out, we're very
community oriented. We get heavily involved.
Hawaii411: What do you say to the
aspiring radio DJ - Someone who goes, "I wanna do what you do!"?
Hawaiian Ryan: Don't plan on it, cause
it's all luck. There is no trick. You just gotta hope you sleep with the right
person, or bribe the right person... Nah, don't get a degree in
communications, it doesn't matter... Columbia School of Broadcasting - that
sucks. Just start interning and hanging around. You'll meet the right person
who'll teach you a lot of stuff - that's it. Hang around and work hard -
People drop like flies in the radio business and you'll be in.
Hawaii turns out a lot of the island music. Have you heard anyone
with some real R&B talent?
Hawaiian Ryan: Oh yeah, there's a huge
revolution starting right about now. We just started this new show called
Xtreme Beats on Sundays, 11pm. It's a brand new thing to catalyze the local
hip-hop R&B scene. Guys like Reign, Disguyz, Chant... a whole bunch of
artists coming out. It's good, we need the exposure. Hawaii is just sooo,
Hawaiian. It'll take a while, but there are so many talented people. Pati,
Fiji ... They are all closet Hip-Hop and R&B dudes. It's just that
Hawaiian music pays the bills.
You mentioned that Lanai and Jimmy the Geek helped you into radio.
Is there anyone else that helped you out?
Hawaiian Ryan: Sam the Man helped me out
the second time around, and we're still good friends. He was a huge influence.
And the guy who helped me really get started was Tremaine Tamayose. He
encouraged me to do stand up, He introduced me to Andy Bumatai and Frank
DeLima - All the boys when I was 17.
Hawaii411: It was a great loss when
he left us.
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah.
is the story behind the name, Hawaiian Ryan? Is it just a rhyming thing?
Hawaiian Ryan: Come on, you think I'm
that simple minded? Ummm, yah pretty much... (Laughs) and the name Milli
Vanilli was already taken. Total marketing, it was catchy, easy to remember.
When I first came out in 1990 Sovereignty was pretty heavy, so I just was
riding on the coattails of Sovereignty just trying to fit in. Too be Hawaiian
gained you more points, let's be honest. Everywhere I go people treat me like
I'm indigenous to the Aina. Malama ka'aina Lokahi Imua.
Hawaii411: Ever thought of getting
back into music?
Hawaiian Ryan: Sure.
What instruments do you play?
Hawaiian Ryan: I play pretty much every
instrument... Oh, but actually know how to? That's a different story. Guitar,
small kine drums.
Do you sing?
Hawaiian Ryan: I was a singer, but oddly
enough the band opted to not give me a microphone. I'm more like a writer,
creative director. Singing - not really.
Hawaii411: Does Kaiser High ever try
to bring you back, like a celebrity graduate?
Hawaiian Ryan: I think they're really
confused about how to feel about me, kinda like my parents. Sometimes they're
proud, other times they disassociate themselves completely from me.
Hawaii411: What is your ideal world
Hawaiian Ryan: There are so many
versions... There could be one where there is just me and a billion Gwen
Stefani's. Then there is non-existence. Non-existence would be the ideal
Is that like Zen?
Hawaiian Ryan: No, Zen is like, it
sounds like non-existence, but it's really existence within non-existence. But
it's existence. They try to exist in non-existence. Shave your head, wear
orange robes... They stay in a temple all day and never change clothes, and
then they have that additional rule about not having sex. Who wants to get
laid by them anyway? Orange robe wearing, bald, no change clothes, no car
drivin' guys. Someone may have that fetish. Everyone thinks
that my philosophy is Buddhist, but it's really kind of the opposite. I
think everyone just takes everything too seriously. We are all a bunch of ants
just cruising, whatever... The mistake of the human race is that we keep
making more of us. That's the problem.
Hawaiian Ryan: Just population. What is
the point of creating a little person then trying to protect it from the
world? That's your whole job as a parent, right? Teach it how to get along in
the world. Why don't you just not bring it here in the first place?
Hawaii411: Did you ask your parents
Hawaiian Ryan: Yah, my whole life! And
they just thought I was trying to get out of doing the dishes. And the truth
is, I WAS! Before I existed, I didn't have to do no dishes. I didn't
have to eat, where dishes would be necessary. I miss my non-existence, it was
my best friend. These are all psycho ideas, but you are getting the raw
interview. I know that I have a
very minority point of view. My
question is, who is responsible enough to raise kids? Bottom line is, no
matter how good a job you do as a parent, there is always the unknown
factor. One of my favorite lines in the movies is when Keanu Reeves says in
Parenthood, "You need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car- hell, you
even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole
be a father."
Hawaii411: What is in the future for
Hawaiian Ryan: To deconstruct all
ambition... all notions of trying to be somebody, trying to gain self worth.
All those roads that try to lead, to build, make, augment, and change...forget
all that. to destroy hope.
Well, at least within me. Everyone
else can hope if they want. As
for me though, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness equals death,
non-existence, and relief from all pursuits of any kind!
Conclusion: Interesting personality, Hawaiian Ryan... Not what we
expected. We thought we were going to meet a one dimensional comedian/DJ
with the simple, preprogrammed canned responses ("Yes, our radio station
strives to provide the highest quality programming to all of our listeners...
blah blah blah") Instead, we were taken on a tour inside the amped
up, quad-dimensional mind of a well-read, educated individual with opinions,
thoughts and viewpoints about any subject thrown his way. Complicated to
say the least, Hawaiian Ryan covered an extensive range of topics over sushi
dinner. He had some very valid points, but what scared me is that
the longer we talked, the more sense he made. Just kidding Hawaiian
Ryan! When you get right down to it, he's just a really nice guy who
really knows how to make and hold a very interesting conversation.
His goal is to have no goals. His ultimate dream would be not to exist.
But he does exist, and he is entertaining Hawaii audiences with 'catcha off
guard' statements on his mid-day show on 104.3 Xtreme FM.
And if you want to make sure that your wedding or birthday party or
grad party or whatever is definitely not boring, get Hawaiian Ryan to be your
host by either going to www.hawaiianryan.com
or calling 275-1000.