Hawaii411 Interview: Santa Claus
Santa's Hawaiian Visit

Hawaii411 Five-Oh questions: The Icebreakers

1. What is your favorite place to be in Hawaii?

Santa: Waikiki beach.  It’s cold in the North Pole, and in Hawaii, people think I’m a tourist from the Midwest.  Rudolph and Dasher don’t care much for the leash laws though…

2. Rice or Poi?

Santa: You don’t get a belly like this on rice alone, you need Poi

3. Who from Hawaii would you like to play you in a Movie?

Santa: Mel Cabang… or maybe Saleva`a Atisinoe (Konishiki)

4. How big is that board?
Santa: 12 footer, I used to ride an Eleven, but the years added some weight.

5. What kind of goodies do you want Hawaii to leave for you this year?
Santa: The Kona Coffee Fudge Brownies from Kapuakea Products is always good

On a chance meeting at Waikiki Beach, Hawaii411 was able to get this exclusive interview with Santa Claus.  Find out what he was doing in Hawaii, who he was visiting (hint: Tiny Bubbles), and what he has in store for Christmas 2001.

T’was the day before Thanksgiving,
As I walked on the beach,
And saw this fat man....
White beard, could it be?

“Eh brah, wussup?”
“On vacation,” he replied.
“You’re not?” – “Yes I am.”
“Ho, ho, ho, let’s go ride”

He picked up his long board
I followed him out
For Hawaii411.com
These words, he did spout:

Hawaii411: So what are you doing in Hawaii, with Christmas coming so soon?
Santa: It’s cold in the North Pole, and the elves and Mrs. Claus; they work so hard all year round.  We take a break over Thanksgiving time to energize for that last Christmas push.  I come to Hawaii every year at Thanksgiving – it’s the only place I can get a Kalua Turkey.  The elves love it.

Hawaii411: Where are the elves?

Santa: They’re visiting their relatives here.  We’ll get together for dinner tomorrow.

Hawaii411: Relatives?
Santa: Yeah, my elves are related to the Menehune here.  The elves, the Leprechauns, the Menehune… they’re all related.  Those guys are hard workers.  Sometimes, I even bring some of the Menehune up North when I need help maintaining my Village – they are great at building walls and stuff.

Hawaii411: So besides going to the beach, what do you do here?
Santa: I like to surf, kinda choppy today though.  I visit with my friends.  Pele is usually nice enough to light-up Kilauea for me, so I can find Hawaii.  She usually brings the hot stones for the imu.  Mrs. Claus and her swap recipes.  Pele makes a great pulehu ribs too.   I see Don Ho sometimes.  I line him up next to Hoku and one of his other kids, and go, `Ho, Ho, Ho.’  He hates it when I do that.  Did I answer the question? Oh yeah,  I’ve been coming here for years now.  I like to eat too.  Hawaii has such great food, and I need to bulk up for my trip around the world.  I need a lot of energy you know.  Did you know that I can lose a hundred pounds on Christmas night?

Hawaii411: Is it healthy to lose all that weight in one day?
Santa: No it’s not, that’s why I need a lot of food for energy on my flight around the world.  The keiki in Hawaii leave me such goodies.  Most places, I only get milk and cookies, but here, I get sushi, haupia, and oh my – the Banana Poi Bread and Lilikoi Lemon Bars.  I always allow a little extra time in Hawaii to make sure I have time to eat it all.  If I don’t eat enough goodies, I lose too much weight.  That’s not healthy.  Some times of the year, Mrs. Claus does put me on Dr. Shintani’s Hawaiian Diet though.  It keeps my cholesterol levels down.

Hawaii411: Did you ever eat too much food?
Santa: Funny that you mention that, one year I did get stuck in a chimney here.  It was kind of embarrassing.

Hawaii411: Care to tell us about it?
Santa: I have a friend named Kimo, who knows a little about that story, why don’t you ask him?

(Hawaii411 contacted all the Kimos in Hawaii, and after an extensive search, found him.  His story will be told on this site as a Hawaii411 exclusive)

Hawaii411: When did you start coming to Hawaii?
Santa: I’ve been coming to Hawaii for years now, but as far as coming at Thanksgiving, it started in 1959.  Ala Moana Shopping Center opened up and invited me to greet their customers on their first Christmas.  I’ve been coming back ever since.

Hawaii411:  We have to ask you, how can you be in two places at once?  I see you at Kahala Mall, and Ala Moana, and Windward Mall, what’s up with that?
Santa: Okay, you got me there.  Once upon a time, I was able to get from here to there, in the blink of an eye, but these days, I need help.  Lucky for me, Dr. Ryuzo Yanagimachi gave me a hand with some clones.

Hawaii411: But didn’t President Bush…

Santa: No, no, no, we didn’t do anything like that, you see, Dr. Yanagimachi didn’t use that cloning technique.  He used another one.  All those Santas you see at the malls are Santa’s helpers.  They do a good job, but sometimes they don’t have the true sprit of Christmas in their heart.  Dr. Yanagimachi helped me develop the “Shaka Kalikimaka” technique to transfer the true spirit of Santa Claus into each one of Santa’s helpers, so when they are out and about, they truly do have part of Santa in them.  Sometimes, I do sneak out to the malls and take the keiki’s wishes in person though.  Those who were at Ala Moana in 1959, that was me.

Hawaii411:  Some of the keiki are concerned that it may be dangerous for you to fly these days.
Santa: I don’t want anybody to worry about Santa, you see I got Rudolph and the eight fastest Reindeer you have ever seen.  Right now, Prancer and the boys are training with Maui, running up the slopes of Haleakala.  Plus, the US Armed Forces has promised me an escort by the Blue Angels themselves.

Hawaii411:  So what is Osama going to get in his stocking?
Santa: Coal

Hawaii411:  Is there anything you want Hawaii to know? 
Santa:  I know this year has been a very hard year for some, but I want you all to know that Santa will always be here.  Every year I come to Hawaii, this year especially, I have seen the Aloha Spirit at work.  It is that Aloha Spirit that helps awaken the Christmas Spirit in me.  Christmas is alive in the hearts of billions, and I know that together we can make this the best Christmas ever.  Hawaii plays an integral part in my Christmas routine.  For that I thank you.

With a twitch of his nose
He turned towards the shore
And paddled and paddled
His arms must’ve been sore

A five five foot swell he did ride
He turned to me and flashed a Shaka
See you later he said
And Mele Kalikimaka!

Hawaii411 wishes you and yours a warm holiday season.  Mahalo to all of you who have been tuning in and supporting the site!  Parents... Hawaii411 has a special side deal going on with Santa Claus this year where we provide some database work for his naughty/nice lists and he'll answer email for us from Hawaii's kids.  Tell the keikis to write in to Santa Claus at santa@hawaii411.com.  Be sure to include a nice contact number for the parent and Santa will be sure to respond quickly to the letter.

Happy Holidays from Hawaii411.com!